Designing an Intentional Life (instead of an ‘Urgency Life’) - Top Tips from 10 years of Coaching High Achievers ✨
As the founder of Intentional Generations and a leadership and career/life coach for hundreds of high-achieving leaders (80% women, 20% men) over the last 10 years, I’ve seen a recurring pattern among my clients—burnout, exhaustion, and a relentless drive due to ‘urgency culture’ that often sacrifices well-being for success. That, and a desire to make changes in their life in how they manage their time but having the very relatable problem: “not having time to manage my time”. High achievers tend to equate productivity with worth, but true success isn’t just about doing more; it’s about designing a life that is both fulfilling and sustainable. Intentional life design is about optimising how you work, rest, and set priorities so that your ambition doesn’t come at the cost of your health and happiness.
[1] The Power of Intentional
Life Design
Intentional life design is about making conscious choices regarding time, energy, and resources. Instead of reacting to life as it happens, you create structures, habits, and routines (I call these “energetically sustainable rhythms”) that align with your values, who you want to be (your “future self”/identity) and long-term vision while maintaining balance.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit" – Aristotle
Common Mistakes High Achievers Make ❌
In coaching high-achieving individuals, I’ve seen these five mistakes surface repeatedly:
Overcommitting – Saying yes to everything spreads you too thin, leading to exhaustion and decreased effectiveness. One of the common exercises I do with clients is helping them to determine what is an authentic “yes” vs “no” and to create an intentional decision making compass (this is particularly useful when applying for new jobs or deciding what your intentional ‘next step’ is).
Ignoring Rest – Viewing downtime as wasted time or a reward instead of essential recovery weakens long-term performance. Instead, we need to view rest as a wise and kind strategy for ourselves in the present moment as well as the long term. As Bronnie Ware writes in The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: the second most common regret of the dying patients she worked with was “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard” (particularly for males). Athletes know when they train they need to rest - why do we not apply this wisdom to ourselves? This article about ‘The Making of a Corporate Athlete’ is a great read that speaks to this.
Chronic Multitasking – Juggling too many priorities at once reduces focus, efficiency, and overall impact. The common stereotype of women being able to multitask needs to stop - it is instead fast ‘task switching’ and it comes at a cost to our energy, ability to focus and risks making more mistakes.
Neglecting Health – The habit of "pushing through”, keeping on going or thinking that everything will come tumbling down is one of the most common habits that I gently interrogate with leadership coaching clients. For most of us (unless we are in the health field), the positive news is that most tasks can wait until the next day. The consequences of “pushing through” include poor sleep, lack of movement (which impacts our brain function, energy & mood), and stress-induced eating habits that drain energy and cognitive function. Remember: We get to choose whether to buy into our modern-day “urgency culture”.
Chasing Perfection – Perfectionism fuels anxiety, slows progress, and makes success feel fleeting rather than fulfilling. Since 2017 I’ve adopted the mantra “progress over perfection” and incorporated celebration and gratitude practices which have helped me deal with past perfectionist tendencies. (This is a big topic so I’ll write a future blog on perfectionism and celebration practicess).
[2] Strategically Planning Rest 💤
One of the biggest misconceptions about success driven by urgency culture is that it requires constant hustle. In reality, sustainable success demands rest. Research from the World Health Organization (WHO) highlights that chronic stress and burnout significantly increase the risk of heart disease and mental health challenges. High achievers must shift their mindset—rest is not a reward; it’s a requirement.
How to Incorporate Rest:
Schedule downtime 📅: Block out time for relaxation and recovery as seriously as meetings and deadlines.
Embrace active rest 📖: Activities like yoga, reading, and creative hobbies (I personally love gardening and doing Paint by Numbers paintings) replenish energy without being entirely passive.
Prioritise sleep 😴: Studies from the National Sleep Foundation show that the majority of adults need 7–9 hours of sleep per night for optimal cognitive function and well-being. Importantly, learn about your unique energy chronotype (i.e. what times of day do you have the most energy)
Still feeling tired? If you’re still feeling tired even though you’re resting and have a great self-care routine, I encourage you to watch this TED talk about the 7 types of rest. We also have a free downloadable resource in our Resource Library on this.
[3] Finding Your Rhythms 🎵
Many of my leadership and high achieving clients struggle because they force themselves into a one-size-fits-all schedule rather than honouring their natural energy rhythms, cycles or seasons. We have a very ‘masculine’ and Westernised view of performance and productivity which comes from the industrial revolution. Thankfully this narrative is slowly broadening to honour the fact that people aren’t robots that operate at the same level consistently all year round. Your peak productivity periods and creative flow are unique—pay attention to them.
Steps to Identify Your Rhythm:
Learn about your unique energy chronotype (i.e. what times of day do you have the most energy)
Track your energy levels 📊 throughout the day for 1-2 weeks to identify what tasks and situations raise or drain your energy. You can do this in our free resource ‘My Energy Audit’ (available to download in our Resource Library).
If possible, design your schedule around your energy peaks: tackling “deep work” when you’re most focused and saving routine tasks (“shallow work”) for low-energy periods.
Incorporate seasonal rhythms 🍂, recognising that different times of the year may require shifts in focus and energy allocation. There is a growing movement of people recognising the power of “seasonal syncing” as well as “cycle syncing” (particularly relevant to women). These have been talked about for years in fitness circles, and are now starting to be recognised in the work sphere. Great progress!
Note: Click on the image to be taken to The Sleep Doctor’s Chronotype Quiz (note: I am not affiliated in anyway to this, I simply think this is a great tool)
[4] Planning, Goal Setting, and Prioritizing Well-Being 🎯
Intentional life design & planning isn’t about cramming more into your schedule; it’s about ensuring that what you do aligns with your vision and values.
Tips for Strategic Planning:
Set intentional goals 🏆: Use the SMART method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) to create meaningful, sustainable goals.
Prioritize tasks using the Eisenhower Matrix, distinguishing between urgent and important tasks to avoid time-wasting distractions.
Embrace flexibility 🔄: Leave room for adaptability while staying committed to your core objectives.
Check in regularly ✅: Weekly and monthly reviews help reassess priorities and ensure alignment with long-term aspirations. If you have difficulty with this, this is one of the main practices we include in Your Accountability Squad membership - learn more here.
Well-Being as a Cornerstone 🌿
A well-designed life isn’t just about efficiency—it’s about sustainability. Without well-being, high performance is unsustainable.
Mindfulness and reflection 🧘: Journaling, meditation, or quiet walks (ideally in nature and without stimulation from technology) help maintain clarity and purpose. Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that mindfulness reduces stress and enhances well-being.
Movement and nourishment 🥗🏋️: Fuel your body and mind with foods that make you feel good and regular physical activity. A study published in The Lancet found that regular exercise significantly improves mental health and longevity.
Community and relationships ❤️: Build strong connections. Research from Harvard’s Study of Adult Development indicates that meaningful relationships contribute more to happiness and longevity than wealth or status.
Final Thoughts ✨
High achievers often push themselves relentlessly, but true success comes from balancing ambition with well-being. Through my work with hundreds of high-performing individuals, I’ve seen firsthand that when rest, ‘energetic rhythm’, and planning are aligned, fulfilment follows. Intentional life design is about creating a structure that allows you to thrive—not just in your work, but in your whole life.
You have the power to design your life with intention. What changes will you make today? Let me know in the comments below :)
Jen 💛
p.s. We include practical tools like this and more in our FREE online programme ‘5 Days to Sustainable Success’
p.p.s. We also have our exclusive low-cost membership programme ‘Your Accountability Squad’ that opens spots at limited times during the year (next sign ups at the end of March 2025)
