Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail—And What to Do Instead (Guest Post)

It’s February…. Are you already feeling tired and the new year’s resolutions seeming like wishful thinking?

This blog post was originally written and. published by the lovely Rebecca Fry (Your Leading Edge / Millennial Leader’s Club) on 17th February 2025 and has been republished with permission from the author. Original blog post.

Be honest—how’s 2025 feeling so far?

If you’re anything like most high achievers, you probably started the year with a big vision—excited, committed, ready to make it the year things finally clicked.

And yet, here we are, a few weeks in… and maybe that energy is already starting to fade. The workouts aren’t happening as often as you planned. The business goals feel overwhelming. The new habits? Hit and miss.

It’s easy to blame ourselves when this happens. But the truth is, it’s not a personal failing—it’s a systems problem.

Most people set resolutions in a way that’s destined to fail because they rely on outdated, ineffective methods. So, instead of pushing through another year of frustration, let’s talk about why resolutions don’t work—and what to do instead.

THE 4 REASONS RESOLUTIONS DON’T STICK

1. THEY RELY ON WILLPOWER INSTEAD OF SYSTEMS

Motivation is a beautiful, fleeting thing—it’s there in full force when we set a goal, but it’s nowhere to be found when the alarm goes off at 5 AM.

Most resolutions assume we’ll be consistently motivated, but that’s just not how human psychology works.

🔹 What to do instead: Instead of relying on motivation, focus on building a system that makes success inevitable. Want to work out? Book the class, lay out your clothes, make it harder NOT to go. Want to read more? Keep a book next to your coffee machine instead of your phone.

If something matters, design your life in a way that makes it easy to show up for it.

Those who know me will tell you that I am a runner. But as much as I love the energy, fitness and fun that running gives me, I don't love running on my own. Five years ago I joined local run club, Beauty of Exercise (BEXI) and haven't looked back. That said, I even have systems within BEXI to help me on those days it's dark and cold and my bed is calling. These have included getting a lift with other members (thanks Felicity and Kate), entering events and buddying up with my now 'running wife', Stef. Developing effective systems is essential to making achieving your goals feel easier and sustainable for the long term. 

2. THE GOAL IS TOO VAGUE

"Be healthier."
"Save money."
"Get more organized."

Vague goals sound nice, but they don’t give us a clear path forward. It’s like setting your GPS to “somewhere nice” and hoping for the best.

🔹 What to do instead: Get specific. Instead of "exercise more," set a goal like "strength train 3x per week and hit 8,000 steps daily." Instead of "save money," decide "automate $50 into savings every Friday."

The clearer the target, the easier it is to hit.

This is a particularly common problem. Many people I coach struggle to make their goals specific. Health, money and productivity come up a lot, but so do other goals around deepening relationships or skill building. A helpful strategy is to consider what does your ideal day look like? This can help you consider the behaviours you would like to embrace on a sustainable basis, rather than focusing on a vague outcome.

3. THE GOAL ISN’T ACTUALLY YOURS

We don’t talk about this enough: A lot of goals don’t stick because deep down, we don’t actually care about them.

Maybe you set a resolution to run a marathon because your friend is doing it. Or maybe you decided to wake up at 5 AM every day because some productivity guru swears it’s the secret to success. But if it doesn’t align with what you want, it’s always going to feel like a struggle.

🔹 What to do instead: Ask yourself: Do I actually want this? Or do I just feel like I should want it?

Your goals should reflect what truly matters to you—not what looks good on paper.

4. IT’S NOT SUSTAINABLE

Ever gone all in on a new habit, only to burn out within weeks?

This happens because we tend to overestimate what we can do in the short term and underestimate what we can accomplish long-term.

Going from zero workouts to five per week sounds great… until your body is sore, you miss a session, and suddenly you feel like you’ve “failed.”

🔹 What to do instead: Lower the bar at the start.

• Instead of "I’ll work out five times a week," start with "I’ll move my body for 15 minutes three times this week."

• Instead of "I’ll meditate for 20 minutes every morning," start with "I’ll take three deep breaths before checking my email."

Success isn’t about doing everything all at once. It’s about creating momentum that lasts.

This was my modus operandi for years. Most of my 20s involved setting an extensive list of goals to optimise every area of my life at once. Every year I would start strong and be convinced that this was the year that things would be different and then lo and behold a few months in I would wobble, and then come winter I would crash and burn. It was truly a horrible cycle and genuinely took me years of work to unlearn. High achievers tend to have high expectations. Our potential is infinite, however you need to begin with small steps that you can build on over time to avoid burnout and have habits that truly stick.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: A SMARTER APPROACH TO GOAL-SETTING

If traditional resolutions aren’t the answer, what is?

Here’s how to set goals that actually stick.

STEP 1: REFLECT BEFORE YOU SET GOALS

Most people skip this step, but it’s the key to creating meaningful change.

• What worked well for you last year?

• What felt draining?

• Where did you feel most like yourself?

Self-awareness is what separates goals that energise you from goals that feel like another chore.

STEP 2: FOCUS ON IDENTITY, NOT JUST OUTCOMES

Instead of setting a goal like “Lose 10kg,” shift your focus to:

💡 "Become a person who nourishes their body and moves daily."

Instead of "I want to be more productive," think:

💡 "I am someone who creates space for deep, focused work."

When we shift from chasing an outcome to becoming the type of person who naturally does the thing—change sticks.

STEP 3: MAKE IT FLEXIBLE, NOT RIGID

Life is messy. Things will not always go according to plan.

The difference between people who reach their goals and those who don’t? The ones who succeed don’t quit when things get off track. They adjust.

• If you miss a workout, do a 5-minute stretch instead.

• If you fall off track for a week, recommit instead of writing off the whole month.

It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up, however you can.

READY TO RECLAIM YOUR YEAR?

If you’re tired of setting resolutions that fizzle out by February, you’re not alone.

This year, let’s do things differently.

Join me (Rebecca Fry) and Jen Young (Intentional Generations) for Reclaim Your 2025, where we’ll walk you through:

✅ How to set goals that actually stick (without burning out)
✅ How to create a vision for 2025 that aligns with your real priorities
✅ How to build the mindset and habits that keep you on track all year long

📅 Date: 28 February 2025, 8.30am AEDT
📍 Location: Live Online
🔗 Sign up here: Grab your spot now.

Let’s make 2025 the year you finally follow through—on what actually matters to you.