7 Evidence Based Strategies for Completing the Stress Cycle
Originally published on February 4, 2021
2020 was a BIG year of disruption, change and learning how to do things differently. I don’t know about you, but it was also a big year of learning how to manage my physical and mental health while working from home, working more flexibly and without the normal activities or people that made life that much more beautiful.
One of the books that helped me the most during this time was ‘Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle’ by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. I thought that I understood stress but this book unlocked another layer of understanding.
Quick summary of my key takeaways:
Differentiate stress from stressors. Stressors are what activates the stress response in your body. Stressors can be anything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, or imagine could do you harm. Stress is the neurological and physiological shift that happens in your body when you encounter one of these threats. The stress response = fight / flight / freeze.
Just because you’ve dealt with the stressor doesn’t mean you’ve dealt with the stress itself.
The key is to “complete the stress cycle” - i.e. to remove stress from the body in ways that work for YOU. Below are the 7 evidence-based strategies for completing the stress cycle recommended in the book.
The 7 Strategies
01. Physical activity
This is the most efficient way to complete the cycle. Imagine you’re being chased by a lion. What do you do? You run. It’s the same thing with if you’re stressed out by our twenty-first century stressors. Doing any activity that moves your body long enough to get you breathing deeply for between 20 - 60 minutes most days works for most people.
My personal favourites? Having a good ol’ dance party to 90’s music in my room, doing latin dancing with friends, going for a walk in nature up a hill or bouncing on my mini trampoline!
02. Breathing
My mum taught me the importance of slowing down the breath when I experienced a period of immense grief when my older brother/best friend passed away when I was 8 year’s old. Thankfully my mum’s pretty wise - she’d done a lot of yoga in her 20s and early 30s so she taught me how to regulate my breathing and stretch out my body. Then, when I was 24 I had what my friends called a “quarter life crisis”, left the path of law that I was on and moved into leadership development (while learning & teaching wellbeing on the side). Mindfulness was a key element of this - slowing down the breathing, especially the exhalation and focusing on the senses.
A simple, practical exercise:
I like to do this sitting down cross legged on the floor, but sitting in a chair with your feet on the floor works just as well. Breathe in, through the nose, for a count of 5 and breathe out for a count of 6 (again through the nose). You may like to start with 3 cleansing breaths: in slowly through the nose and out more slowly through the mouth, then returning to nose breathing. Repeat this for approx. 2 minutes and experience noticeable differences in mood and clarity of thought :)
Another hint: you may like to place your hands on your belly to check that you’re breathing all the way down into the belly. This is important as the deep, slow breathing sends signals to our brain and nervous system that we’re safe and can relax.
03. Positive social interaction
You know how good it is when you have a chat with a friendly barista? These signs of casual but friendly social interaction are an external sign for our brains that the world is a safe place. Try asking “how’s your day going” to your barista the next time you get a coffee or compliment the supermarket checkout operator on how speedy their process is - you’ll not only make their day, you’ll also feel more positive emotions yourself. Go, you good human, go! :)
04. Laughter
If you’re having an average or stressful day, sometimes having a good ol’ belly laugh does just the trick. And, I’m not talking about a polite laugh, I’m talking about the sustained, tears starting to roll down the face, abdominals working guffawing. You know the kind I’m talking about.
Personal examples for rabbit holes to go down to get the laughter happening? “Guilty dogs” videos, Iliza Shlesinger’s ‘Elder Millennial’ on Netflix or “try not to laugh” videos on YouTube.
05. Affection
For those that love hugs with loved ones, this is a goodie. Sometimes when we’re stressed a friendly chitchat with colleagues or a laugh doesn’t cut it. In these times, deeper connection with a loving presence fits the bill. This can take place in the form of a prolonged hug with someone you love and trust. Research suggests that a 20 second hug changes our hormones, lowers our blood pressure and heart rate and improves our mood. Why? Prolonged hugging increases our social-bonding hormone oxytocin. Note that it doesn’t have to be exactly 20 seconds - what matters is that you hug until you’re relaxed and your nervous system knows it’s safe again.
For those that are not fans of touch: try petting an animal, e.g. a cat, dog or horse for a few minutes. Part of this is that we’re caring for a living thing that is outside of ourselves - we feel good for caring :)
06. Crying
Have you ever experienced having a big ol’ cry, sighing a big sigh and then feeling a sense of relief from the weight of whatever made you cry? There’s a reason why this feels so good. We’re allowing ourselves to feel and process our emotions. Your emotions are information of how a situation or experience is impacting you. Giving yourself permission to be human and feel all the feels, while sometimes uncomfortable or unpleasant, means that (1) you’re not denying your experiences or suppressing them which can lead to all sorts of future challenges and (2) processing your emotions is SUPER HEALTHY and means you can bounce back faster. Please know that crying is not a sign of weakness.
07. Creative expression
Processing our stress or emotions in creative ways is another effective way for completing the stress cycle. One of my personal favourites is writing or journalling - “talking to the page”. It’s incredibly therapeutic! As someone who’s highly sensitive and experiences high functioning anxiety at times, getting my thoughts out onto paper or singing them out helps me to return to the present moment. A client recently asked me how I let go of negative feedback or unpleasant thoughts in the moment. My answer? I sometimes will literally sing quietly to myself “let it be” by the Beatles or “let it go” from the Frozen soundtrack. True story. It’s an easy thing to remember and it helps to lighten my mood :)
Here are examples of other ways to creatively express your stress/emotions: painting, going for a walk and recording yourself speaking out your ideas or worries, dancing, playing an instrument etc. Find what works for you!
Putting it all together in practice…
So, I’ve given you a whole lot of tips above. How do you apply to your own life?
[1] Find what works for you:
experiment
have back-up strategies on days when you don’t have time for your normal “stress cycle completion ritual”
[2] Put it in your calendar: 30 mins a day
[3] Make it a non-negotiable: treat this like a doctor’s appointment or like your cat’s vet appointment. This time is important and enables you to be the wonderful human that you are :)
Have any questions or thoughts about this or want to know how this type of information could help your organisation or team?
Reach out to hello@intentionalgenerations.com with your thoughts or feedback
Or, talk with us if your team or organisation is in a period of high stress or needs extra support. We’re here to help :)
Wishing you well,
Jen
Intentional Generations Founder
