Originally published February 5, 2018 on Jen Y Insights (our previous brand)

Day 13 of 40 DAYS OF GROWTH

From Friday 19th January, everyday for 40 days, I will be sharing something each day that has either (1) changed my way of thinking or perspective, (2) helped me get through a challenging period of transition, change or growth, or (3) changed my life for the better. I've called it '40 Days of Growth'. I'd love it if you followed along with me on this journey - contributing what has also helped you to learn, grow and change. And, if I can support you on your own learning journey, please do let me know 😃

The below contains some of, if not the best, self-care advice I've ever received. Not kidding. It's helped numerous people around the world get through shitty times. Maybe it'll also help you or a friend of yours. I'd LOVE to hear from you in the comments section below or via some other message whether this resonates with you.

Without sounding too salesy: your future self will thank you for reading this (read further on to understand this idea more). Not kidding. Aware that you've got a crazy week coming up ahead and you're starting to feel anxious that you've not done as much during the weekend as you intended? Or, just having a bit of a shit time? Or know of a friend going through a challenging time? Read this. It's that simple. 4 rules written by someone wiser than me about how to care for yourself.

Context: This idea was shared with me and the participants of the Rotary Youth Leadership Awards programme last year and this year by one of the inspiring friends that I volunteer with. My friend started out his talk with the participants by saying "this is important, get out your pens and paper out as I want you to write something down. I'm going to share with you the most transformative idea I've come across. I went through a period of depression a few years ago and while scrolling through the archives of Reddit, I came across this idea. Write down 'bit.ly/nozerodays' "

Ryans01 introduces the 4 rules that he used to get him out of "the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing"

Essentially, a Reddit user posted in the forums that he "just didn't care about himself anymore" and was really in a bad space, or as the user ryans01 described, "the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing". The user ryans01 then wrote a long post describing 4 rules that he used to get him out of the aforementioned 'vortex'. The whole answer is worth reading, but if you're stuck on time below is a brief summary.

Rule 1: NO MORE ZERO DAYS

The first rule is the most important rule. It's so important that it's spawned its own hashtag: #nozerodays

"Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. ... Didn't do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero".

Two of my mantras are 'Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up... Every. Single. Day' and 'A little bit and often'. They're absolutely aligned with this rule! I also love how Ryans01 puts this next part:

"Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget."

Rule 2: BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S

The second rule is aligned with tools that psychologists and counsellors give their clients, namely: treating yourself like your best friend. Got a tricky problem you're struggling to work through? Ask yourself: What advice would you give your best friend who was going through that same problem?

"...There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME.

... Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path."

Thanking your past self for doing good stuff is aligned with the research on the power of gratitude. Feeling grateful for something or someone is one of the key ways for boosting your happiness levels. Truth.

Rule 3: FORGIVE YOURSELF

Yeeeeeeees!!! The idea of letting go and not constantly ruminating over past mistakes is one of the ideas that I teach in my mindfulness classes. It's a powerful practice!

"Rule number 3- FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud."

Rule 4: EXERCISE AND BOOKS

If you've been following along with Jen Y Insight's journey over the last year or so you may have picked up that I'm a BIG fan of books and consistently exercising/moving my body during the day. I wouldn't have got to where I am without working consistently hard to learn more, become more self-aware of what I need to do to be in a 'good space' and help others.

"Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. ...Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster."

Summary of Ryans01's 4 Rules for getting out of "the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing"

1. Nonzero days as much as you can.

2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours.

3. Forgiveness

4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)

#nozerodays

Questions for you

What do you think about the above 4 rules? How can you apply #nozerodays to your life? What rules do you live by that help you stay on track with your dreams and goals?

Now that you've read the above blog, I'd LOVE to hear from you in the comments section below or via any of my other social media channels. Let's be social! :)

Love,

Jen Y

No Zero Days and the Three Selves: (Most Likely) the Best Self Care Advice I've Ever Heard About

Day 13 of 40 DAYS OF GROWTH